Written by Kaiser at Celebitchy

Here is Jessica Biel (and her newish nose) at The A-Team premiere in Berlin, Germany. Now, as we’ve already seen this week, Jessica Biel’s style is hit-or-miss. I gave her a pass on her strange diaphanous red gown, with what appeared to be a black swimsuit underneath - I actually thought Biel pulled the look off. I did not, however, give her a pass on that one-armed beige monstrosity she wore at the beginning of the European tour. So now we have this - what seems to be a very pretty, somewhat fussy pale blue and silver strapless dress

 

Written by Kaiser at Celebitchy

Jude Law is a sexy bastard for Dior Homme. [Accidental Sexiness]
Sharon Osbourne‘s plastic face is all kinds of wrong. [Go Fug Yourself]
Kanye West‘s Twitter is magical. [Evil Beet]
Lindsay Lohan‘s lawyer says Blohan is beautiful, eating Twizzlers. [Hollywood Rag]
More details about Chelsea Clinton‘s wedding. [Bitten and Bound]
Anne Rice announced on Facebook that she is no longer a Christian. [Gawker]
Things That Are Not Homoerotic: Woody Harrelson & Justin Timberlake rubbing their dicks on each other. [Seriously? OMG! WTF?]
Is Jessica Simpson the new Simon Cowell? [A Socialite Life]
Angelina Jolie‘s kids had play-dates with Liev Schreiber‘s kids. [Celebrity Baby Scoop]
P. Diddy whines about his interview with Martin Bashir, calls Bashir “racist”. [Bossip]
Chris Klein needs some more rehab. [Crazy Days and Nights]
Take note: Lourdes Leon coins new word, “Fabnosity”. [The Frisky]
Morgan Freeman is annoying, in a casket. [Moviefone]
Someone at Hello! Magazine doesn‘t care for Aniston. [CoverAwards]

 

Written by Kaiser at Celebitchy

Do you know how much Russell Brand reminds me of SEVERAL of the dudes I’ve dated over the years? I hate to admit that Brand is very much the type of guy I end up falling in love with. It sucks. Skinny, pasty, weird - it’s like he’s hitting my G-spot right now. Anyway, these are some lovely photos of Russell Brand in his turquoise panties (and black socks!), filming scenes for the Arthur remake. America, this is the UK’s Shagger of the Year for three years running. He’s nailed hundreds of women. How does he do it? Because I know most women don’t find skinny, pasty, weird dudes erotic. There’s just something about Russell…

Anyway, I was looking through these photos when I saw the following story on People Magazine. It seems that Brand’s fiancée Katy Perry is all about having babies with him. Oh, God. This is just going to upset him, Katy:

She may have fallen in love with his funny side, but Katy Perry was even more attracted to another aspect of Russell Brand.

“I think in marriage, when you’re picking a partner, one of the things to keep in mind is, ‘Would they be a good baby daddy?’ ” the “California Gurls” singer, 25, said during a YouTube interview in which she answered questions sent in by fans. “And [Russell will] be perfect.”

But before letting her fiancé, 35, show off his parenting skills, Perry – who is already mom to the couple’s “third child,” a kitten named Krusty – wants to focus on tying the knot. “We are excited to get married, of course,” she says.

And for the big day, the singer has already chosen one key fashion accessory: The perfect set of nails.

“I’m kind of a nail aficionado, freak. Sometimes I’ll have pictures of my cat on my nails, or I had a Willy Wonka-themed birthday party, so I had Oompa Loompa on my nails,” she says.

 

Written by Kaiser at Celebitchy

In Touch Weekly broke this story in their print edition last week, and we reported it last Friday. E! is confirming that Eddie Cibrian and LeAnn Rimes have officially moved in together. While ITW ran the story as a side note to LeAnn planning a wedding in what is now their joint backyard, E! News focuses on how LeAnn has given her dog’s room to Eddie son Mason. Yes, her dog had his own room. And yes, Eddie’s son will now stay in the dog’s room. Oh, and LeAnn’s rep confirmed the news to People (via CNN):

LeAnn Rimes’ bachelorette pad is going from love nest to full-on family home. E! News has learned that Eddie Cibrian and his children are moving into her Hidden Hills house in Calabasas next week.

“Eddie and the kids are moving in with Leann to save money since Eddie lost his CSI job,” says a source. “Mason is moving into the dog’s old room, and Jake is moving into LeAnn’s office.”

Rimes purchased the home, which is a few blocks from where Eddie lived with his soon to be ex-wife, Brandi Glanville, shortly after the two went public with their relationship last year. (Cibrian and his ex currently share equal custody of their two boys.)

“It just made sense for them,” a source tells PEOPLE. “Eddie’s lease was up and LeAnn’s home was bigger and already familiar to Eddie’s sons.” (Cibrian shares custody of Mason, 7, and Jake, 3, with his ex, model Brandi Glanville.)

“It’s somewhere the kids know and it allows Mason to stay in the same school district, which was important to them, that there’s continuity for him,” the source says. “They take [moving in with the kids] with a lot of responsibility. They want to make sure that it was done in the right way.”

According to the source, the move to the gated community in L.A.’s San Fernando Valley won’t “be an overnight thing,” but will happen over the course of the next month.

Rimes’s rep confirms the news, telling PEOPLE, “they’re excited for this happy new journey.”

The country singer, whose covers album “Lady and Gentlemen” is due Oct. 5, is excited to let Mason and Jake decorate two of her former guest bedrooms so they can feel at home, says the source, who adds that the boys “love LeAnn’s dogs, and the swimming pool and the backyard.”

With Rimes’s divorce from chef Dean Sheremet finalized in June, and Cibrian’s divorce pending, could an engagement be on the horizon?

Says the source: “They’re just enjoying the moment and are hopeful about their future together.”

 

Written by Celebitchy

The people at In Touch sent us these gorgeous pictures of the amazing mansion in Oahu, Hawaii where Johnny Depp and his family are staying for the summer. It rents for $5,000 a night and you can see why. The property has a gym, infinity pool, game room and I’m sure much more. Super rich Johnny is probably not even footing the bill. He’s in Hawaii to film Pirates of The Caribbean 4, and was recently spotted working alongside his new costar, Penelope Cruz. Here’s more on the home from In Touch:

Johnny Depp says he’s happiest with his family — whether at their home in the south of France, on their yacht or frolicking on their private Caribbean island. But this summer, while Johnny, 47, films the next installment of Pirates of the Caribbean in Hawaii, the Depps are spending the summer in a newly renovated mansion that is best described as heaven on earth. Located on the most coveted strip of coastline in the Pacific, the seven-bedroom mansion is located in the center of the most prestigious neighborhood on Oahu’s South Shore and rents for a whopping $5,000 a night. Johnny has been living in the house since late June with his longtime partner, actress/singer Vanessa Paradis, 37, and their children, Lily Rose, 11, and Jack, 8. Complete with an infinity pool, hot tub, game room, theater and gym, the very private family has no reason to leave the property — but they do occasionally escape to Jet-Ski, paddleboard and shop for souvenirs.

[From In Touch Weekly]

Can you imagine lounging around that gorgeous house with Johnny or walking hand in hand over the water on the slate in that Asian courtyard? Oh swoon. I’m sure he’s busy working and isn’t around much, though. (At least that’s what I’m telling myself as I mentally give Vanessa the side eye.) He was seen on the beach in Hawaii and on a nearby boat filming scenes with Penelope Cruz dressed as a sexy lady pirate. I’m giving Penelope the mental side eye too, but it’s not that harsh. She’s just too damn normal and nice despite how gorgeous and equally lucky she is in the partner department.

 

Written by Kaiser at Celebitchy

These are photos of a bedraggled-looking Jessica Biel in London on Tuesday, all part of the European promotional tour for The A-Team. Earlier this week, we saw Jessica’s horrible, one-armed puffy beige dress in Madrid, so I’m simply pleased that Jessica is A) Wearing a good color and B) Wearing something that actually shows off her figure in an interesting way, rather than wearing yet another bizarre, asymmetrical sack. As for this Giambattista Valli dress and the look as a whole… well, I must confess, I don’t hate it. I could see this in a fashion editorial, especially with the contrived bedhead hair that Jessica styled for the red carpet.

Now, I know what you’re going to say: “But Kaiser, you hate Jessica Biel! How can you not hate this look?” Well, first of all, I don’t really hate her, I just don’t think she’s all that and a bag of dicks, and secondly, I know that she is capable of the occasional good or great fashion moment. I’ve seen it before, but not that often. Is this fashion moment great? No. But it’s better than many of her fashion moments the past year. True, the dress seems a little too diaphanous, and everyone know knows that Jessica wears black Spanx (not to mention the red matches the carpet EXACTLY). I’m just saying that this is fashion forward and interesting, and Jessica would do well to have more moments like this. Oh, and it wouldn’t kill her to run a brush through that hair. For real.

 

Written by Celebitchy

Written by Kaiser at Celebitchy

Here are some new photos of Taylor Momsen acting like an age-appropriate lady on the Warped Tour this weekend. She’s so… delicate! Taylor is still doing press for the tour, and for her band’s just-released album. The Pretty Reckless’s new music video, “Miss Nothing” came out last week, and people are still talking about it (video below). Mostly they’re talking about how dumb it is. But that didn’t stop Taylor from pontificating about what the video is really about, and how she’s “trying to reinvent and bring back rock ‘n’ roll.” YIKES.

Taylor Momsen, eyes coated in thick rings of her trademark black eyeshadow, writhes and contorts on a table in a scene reminiscent of the Last Supper. She throws food, smashes glasses, and crawls off the table wearing little more than a leotard and a pair of clear heels.

The scene is from the just-released music video for a song called “Miss Nothing,” but it has people saying a lot about the 16-year-old singer.

Momsen (most well known for playing Jenny Humphrey on TV’s “Gossip Girl”) takes obvious pleasure in shocking people with an aggressively sexual persona. But as the frontwoman for the Pretty Reckless, playing today at the West Palm Beach stop of the Vans Warped Tour punk rock festival, she insists she’s just telling stories.

“It’s the way I live, I grew up looking at rock stars. It’s in my blood,” Momsen says. “I think aggression scares people. But if you’re scared, you’re feeling something. Yeah, there’s loud guitars and drums. The reaction, it’s really kind of sad.”

To Momsen (who will turn 17 on Monday), rock ‘n’ roll is rock ‘n’ roll, no matter how old she is.

“It’s like we’re living in the ’60s again. Haven’t we already all seen this? This has already happened.” She sounds exasperated. “Scantily clad clothing? It’s amazing that it’s shocking again, scaring people now, again.”

As for her public Twitter fight with celebrity gossip Perez Hilton, “That’s just tabloids … People ask me about my life and try and create controversy and I’ll say what I say.”

If she’s itching to get rid of a previous era’s idea of 16-year-old girl behavior, she has a fonder feeling for that era’s music. Momsen described the Pretty Reckless as “the only real rock band on this tour” and says they shun modern sounds almost completely, listening to Led Zeppelin and the Beatles on the bus.

“I’m trying to reinvent and bring back rock ‘n’ roll,” she says. “I listen to the greats. I try to better myself.”

 

Written by Celebitchy

Salma Hayek lost weight recently and is looking very svelte and small. Unfortunately she may have done it the hard and ultimately ineffective way. US Weekly reports that Salma helped co-create and now endorses a juice cleanse called “Cooler Cleanse.” At least this one has enough calories to sort-of live on temporarily. Here are the details from US:

“I’ve been doing juice cleanses for 15 years,” she tells Us. Now the star has teamed up with pal and professional juicer Eric Helm to create Cooler Cleanse, a three- or five-day juice detox delivery program. ($58 a day)

Detoxers consume less than 1,200 calories a day in six drinks, including almond milk and watermelon-lime. “I always lose weight,” says Hayek, who does light yoga during a detox. But the benefits go beyond slimming.

“You’ll have renewed energy,” says Helm, owner of NYC’s Juice Generation. Adds Hayek, “My skin glows when I finish day three. And it inspires me to think about what I put in my body.”

[From US Weekly, print edition, August 2, 2010]

I’ve said this many times in these fad diet stories. Studies have shown time and again that there is no magic formula to lose weight. The only way to lose weight is to burn more calories than you take in, regardless of the combination of carbs, protein, or fat you take in. (I recommend FitDay.com to track calories and determine your daily requirements. It’s free and easy to use and we have no affiliation with them. Daily calorie requirements are shown under the “Activities” tab once you fill out your basics.)

 

Written by Kaiser at Celebitchy

Some people think I like to rag on Catherine Zeta-Jones. I really don’t. While I don’t think she’s the most talented actress around, I am quite the admirer of her beauty. And while I think she does certain things to maintain her beauty (little tweaks here and there, perhaps lying about her age), I have to think that Catherine is, was and always will be a beautiful woman. But even beautiful women have off-days. Even beautiful women take a bad photo every now and then. Even beautiful women occasionally take a photo and you’re like, “Jesus, Catherine, try some night cream.” But is it just me, or does she also look… tweaked? Like, she just aged very rapidly, and like she got something done to her face that I can’t put my finger on.

Anyway, these are photos of Zeta and Michael Douglas at the Children’s Hospital for Wales in Cardiff’s University Hospital on July 23, 2010 in Cardiff, Wales. I guess there were just visiting, maybe? It looks like a PR visit. Fame Pictures notes: “Catherine looked quite tired, and sported some gray roots.” She and Michael have been on vacation for the past month, perhaps that’s it? Catherine didn’t adhere to her strict regiment of gradual tweaking and hair dying and such, and she was just rolling around a yacht